She had died her hair red (my son love's red heads and she decided to do this). But we keep working at it and we keep the lines of communication open. HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. That is no small thing and in fact, can still save him. "One reason why I fell in love with her is because she is a lot like you in that she is very caring and kind." I once had a dream that my family was outdoors in the backyard, enjoying our sweet kitties. Don't baby him. It's hard not to mother our children, even if only in tone of voice and energy. So the gift and dinner out with my mom and that I had planned were canceled. Have you ever been to (your family vacation spot)? Be sure that whatever you say is not your opinion but stick to facts. Your reasons are sound and valid from a parent's perspective, but in all honesty, you have to remember that he has a life of his own. The same with the girlfriend! I mean, I . She hates our whole family for no reason at all. But the thing is, Only the two of them in the house! My son's girlfriend doesn't like me and has banned me from visiting the house, I am not allowed to attend family birthdays or other events like Christmas, Easter etc. bingskee from Quezon City, Philippines on July 10, 2010: though i find it funny that a hub will be discussing something about this, i find the tips very useful as well. Your email address will not be published. Thanks for the most valuable advice. Ask Amy: I don't like my son's girlfriend. During this time he started dating a woman he met online from another state who was pregnant with another man's child. and just got engaged to this girl against what his family thinks! Now my mother keeps on asking how she is studying and who is paying for her fees, even if i explain to her, she would go and talk about it with other family member/s. So when he graduated she "supported" him by prostituting I believe - because after I found out that she would be in my home whenever my husband and I were at work, I put him out. my sons girlfriend doesn t like me. ParentalQuestions.com is a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for sites to earn advertising fees by advertising and linking to Amazon.com and its partnered brands/websites. It's not that she's got kids & has her tubes tied, it's not that she's as ugly as sin with what looks to be prison tatts. Please let me know where you got your design. "She really loves you and dad." That is all he sees. We have always tried so hard as a family to make her . Another persons perspective might help him see his girlfriend for who she is. Set a particular time they shouldnt be outside. do oysters taste like fish. A parent lets go of her child at several stages of development, allowing the child to grow up and eventually become independent. It sounds as though she has problems and your son might have his own self-esteem issues so that he feels better than she is, that he doesn't deserve better or that he can help/save her. I am going through hell and probably have lost my son for good. Let him know that as his mother, you will always love him and support him in finding his happiness. I just saw that she was posting on his FB page different things that a gf normally would. If you withdraw your love, she'll only resent your fianc for it. Her mother sees your disapproval as meddling and controlling your son's life. "He doesn't like the situation," stresses Gorell Barnes. Anything I say or do is considered wrong and I no longer know how to behave . While I still stand behind my suggestions in the article, there are times when you have to make a choice between risking a relationship with your son or having to standby helplessly to watch him suffer. I find it useful,I have four son one came home with a girl who will never say hi to me when he first start'ed going out with her, I always said hi some time she will just be looking at me, and my son will be there when she is doing this,this is my first son, now my #2 son will tel his girlfriend not to talk to me when he has problem with me even now he send his graduation invitation to his girl friend and a friend, when she see will also not say hi,how can I understand this ,I care for this children when their father left when they were babys is this what I get for 26years, please help me. He should be open to common sense. Now me and my husband because we do not approve. She told me her daughter is a chronic liar and makes things up. There have been several instances when we would see her mom and when we did, she always had a comment to make about the kids. However, if he can learn from patterns in life, he must understand that ultimately, he cannot fix her. And in our case, my son wouldn't go to counseling so we had to provide a little for him through our our heartfelt communication. You kicked him out. I don't know what he is going to do, and none of them will talk to me. Thank you. By. She met him during his LAST semester of college and moved into his small dorm (apt) room in an apt that 3 other young men shared. When is your birthday? Is there anything else we can do or are we taking the wrong approach? Keep showing and reminding him that his family is still here and loves him. I phoned him, he said, he wasn't leaving her and she had chosen him. Even wives. It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about the things that have transpired through those years.first off, my son never officially introduced me to this woman. The thing is that a young man must be getting something from his relationship with this girl. I bought borax and washed all the clothing in it and even did a second wash with a vinegar rinse before taking all the clothing and hanging in the sun to dry. Tell him to reflect on his relationship to see if it has had positive effects on him as far as his health habits and educational/future opportunities. It was his first girlfriend. You must re-establish a connection with your son and you can do it only through love and humility. I had spent a lot of money moving from state to start and paid the first year rent all by myself -he refused. Break the ice with some funny family stories and invite her to share her own memories with your son. My son met "Scarlet" (this is not her real name) about two and half years ago on line - Xbox. He is still dependent on us, only has a part time job, just finished school, starting uni and her influence of always needing him & her party lifestyle is rubbing off. Afterward, half shut." You have no control over what they do elsewhere, but you are responsible for what you allow in your home, so don't be bullied by his defiance of you. Maybe write it in a letter or note. Your son is underage as is his girlfriend who is having a clearly negative influence on him. I asked him 3 times and said no! I implore you all not to cut ties with your son for any reason. Do you think that they might blame you for their father's leaving the family? Make it a warm and inviting offering. Obviously, we must have a very different circle of friends, coworkers and relatives. My son began dating this girl when he was 17. He left home and married a woman much older than him, without telling any of his family, we only found out on Social Media. My problem started when I noticed that my son was getting close to her. Kimberly! What concerns me is that this new woman and son moved near me without her resolving her financial situation in the other state and that this new woman claims that my son would have her hide in the closet when my ex-spouse and his step mom would visit him. Thank you, Lori. My son's girlfriend doesn't like me and has banned me from visiting the Three years ago she and our son told us (not asked us) that they were getting married, apparently because her parents were moving out of state. I have a son, only child, he just turned 18 and just graduated from high school. He has a girlfriend and we allowed her to come stay in our home 3 nights a week. I don't know how she is feeling about me being in a serious relationship with her son, and I'm not going to confront her about the way she makes me feel, unwelcomed and sensing her jealousy.What do I do?? We painted a picture of what family life with her as a wife and mother of his children would be like. She's young and she'll go through a lot of changes just within the next few years alone. Since she returned home with her younger child, she has been working my son who suddenly thinks raising one child is doable and the other child is not coming. She's shy and has said she doesn't like how she looks, she doesn't like taking pictures is what she said. I didn't want the idea of that girl always around my son she follows him everywhere! My heart just breaks. Within 1 1/2 years, she has had five jobs. He always say "no or I don't have girlfriend" whenever I ask him questions like that. Our kids, who started dating in high school, broke up at the beginning of their sophomore year in college, after dating for nearly two years. The woman has started expressing dislike for my three year old grandson. Let the girl do her thing which probably will be to move on while he is detention. Her family is unstable and made crazy comments to Scarlet and about us. massage overland park. What is it like there? I tried to talk to my son several times but he brushed me off. A 16-year-old girl with those types of problems most likely has moved on to another guy while your son is in detention center. The things she said to me were unacceptable along with the nasty threatening text messages of how I ruined his life now and that I hoped I was happy. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content. Kimberly Atkins from Cameron, NC on May 26, 2018: This article gave me a different perspective and some things to consider on my sons relationship. It is hard to teach young ones that breaking up feels bad but it is better than breaking up when there is so much more at stake such as divorce and children. She reached out to you to get to know you better and was met with suspicion and accusations. He does do things with us occasionally. Like attracts like, and he is becoming like her in her sad ways. My son has a three year toddler who is in speech therapy because of delays in his development resulting from his neglectful mother. He will want to make his "own" decisions. I feel so hurt and don't know what to do. Now he is staying gone and won't have anything to do with me. WOW! The girl was sitting on the couch while my son sitting on the floor in between the girl's legs. How Many People To Invite To Baby Shower. She cussed me and called me horrible names. Everyone has value. His world will no longer revolve around her family's when you open your world up to include her. I say then support the girlfriend don't put up with ugly behavior from your son towards women. And that will drive them both away. The easiest way to break tension is to share a laugh. Lori Phillips (author) from Southern California USA on July 18, 2012: It's such a hard transition to go from boy/child/son to man, a sexual being. Now the scary part - he now has a lucrative career, he joined a great fraternity, he has his own place, car and pursuing his master's degree - and she is STILL there!! But both she and your son need help and together, the results of their relationship have gotten them cutting, threatening suicide, and landing in detention. She and he will hear about it, and then the honeymoon is over. She asked my husband for money, my son has said if she sees we are helping him out Financial she might eventually come round. :). She hasn't wanted to get to know our family from the beginning. When he says he wants to go and live with his dad, don't panic and see this as a reflection . Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. All the smooth talks, creepy or stalking tendencies from their partner, are a sign of love. He gave his horse back( that he loved so much) to the people he got it from because he wanted to spend his money on his girlfriend and her parents, he moved out of his apartment that he shared with his brothers that he USED to be real close with and moved in with her and her parents because he said THEY needed help financially, he bought them a 20,000 car after theirs broke down! Be honest and help him connect the dots between his relationship and the manipulative behaviour. Good luck. When she started dating Matt she lived with her aunt apparently did not see eye to eye with her mother and step father whom run a beautiful heifer farm and her mom is a school teacher. We didn't feel like celebrating. I can't help but think that your son isn't capable of making sound decisions for himself let alone his son. We never see him, though, and I see on facebook that they are constantly doing things together~just nothing with his side of the family. First, you might want to have a sit down with your son. How can a man, my son, allow someone to treat me as such and why is it acceptable to him? She may even be jealous of your guy friends. I can't undo what I said to my son about my concerns about the neglect and stealing of clothing. OK mamas, admit it: no one is good enough for your son. It is very hurtful, but I will continue to invite both of them to spend time with us. As his mother, you have the right to forewarn him of upcoming problems that may stem from differences in faith and other areas of incompatibility, for example. It's hard to talk to your adult child about his choice of mate because he will see it as yet another reason to protect her. After 2 months I could not take it any more and told her that she had to leave. Not once did she bring her children and to be honest, she was not allowed. It is a love he can truly count on while romantic love with the opposite sex is, well, fragile and easily broken. My son had 2 vehicles at the time and didn't need another one. But yes, as the title says, my girlfriend doesn't love me anymore. Sing her praises but not in a way that will make your mother feel less or feel jealous. After her relentless begging, I decided to let her move in because I thought the only way he is going to know her is to live with her. He sold the Camaro he had(that he owed money to his older brother for and used what he got for it to put more towards the new 2016 car he purchased for his girlfriends parents). You know relationships have bumps in the road. Then she began threatening suicide Not long after my son followed suit and began cutting, threatening suicide, and having violent outbreaks. The 1st time I met her I went to shake her hand, limp wristed thing didn't even make eye contact. My son who is still in college for another at least 3 yrs. Questions about her commitment or plans for the relationship. I am terrified that I won't know where my son is and what he's doing. My greatest concern is for my grandson. ian thomas drummer heart attack; poeme sur l'enfance malheureuse. Family is forever. Non-judgmental. Well, they have been going together for four years. My girlfriend does not live with me either as she is studying at a distant college. Chances are he's going to keep being abusive to his girlfriends until he chooses to change. You might also ask his closest friend, cousin or sibling to talk with him. My son now knows this and will never let love for a girlfriend break our relationship. My girlfriend is the humblest and kindest women I have ever met and I like her for who she is and not what she has. Did you criticize them a lot? He is experimenting with other personality types than those he has been used to dating. APRIL 20 ORIGINAL COWBOY DIES Former NFL running back Don McIlhenny, who in 1960 scored the first rushing touchdown in Dallas Cowboys history, has died at the age of 88.

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