Its been two years as of June 2 that I lost my husband, soulmate and best friend. We were married since September 2004 and Re married (I should say Valentines Day 2012) She would have been 39 May 15th Now two Birthdays have past and two Mothers day. I just so miss him by my side and our endless hours of talks. The second wedding anniversary without a spouse. Im still trying to somehow soothe their pain, their need and its getting harder by the day. I have noticed such an immense change in my body (so thin) and just overall mental behaviour (loner, no energy for anything or anyone). Ill always miss him. This tiny fragile angel was the strongest person I have ever known. I am now in month 14 and the feeling that I mentioned earlier, that in some way my purpose in life was to grieve, has begun to abate. I woke up every morning, fed my children, got them to school, then returned home and curled up in bed. I do what I have to do in the house the rest of the time I lay in my bed. I find that rem9feling our home has opened a myriad of emotions that sent me reeling. All our plans for the future were dashed that cold rainy night in a hotel room. I feel just like you have expressed. Love to everyone out there. I lost my husband 12/16/2016. I truly admire your honesty. It's not a magic trick, just an optical illusion. Wew!! This thread started an hour after and on the day my wife Shellie passed. Still Waiting on Your Tax Refund? Here's What to Do I too lost a beloved Uncle in May 2020, not from Covid19, quite suddenly. I dont know many widows that are my age, Im 60. every day is a challenger i hate waking up in the morning, I do try to go out and see friends but it really doesnt help, Im not sure how much longer I can continue like this, it has to get a little better I can only hope. Im so sorry for your losses. The numbness is gone and reality is now setting in. Fighting for our lives, our very existence. I made the decision to bottle all my emotions inside of me and sooner or later they had to come out which they did about a month ago. Everyone seems to think that was long enough. I can relate to everything you all are saying Your email address will not be published. I hate my life and wish to die daily. Never to be the same, never to fit into normal again. If I can last that long. Some guidance and encouragement from a person who truly understands the all-encompassing nature of grief and how if affects every moment and every part of life could be just what you need to move forward. I know Im late to this post but I lost my husband six months ago. Lost my husband 2 yrs 4 months its hard I have good days but I need someone to talk to thats not family. Im now 47. My situation a little different. I am lost. Hope you are looking after yourselves in these uncertain times. I am so sad that we are all connected by loss. I know how you feel. Im remember things I wish I would have done and several moments I wish I could have done better. By 4 months old, your baby can remember that your face has disappeared when you play peek-a-boo, or that a ball has rolled out of sight. Jackie you expressed much of what I feel for the most part. First year, I got through, thinking 2nd year will be better looking at my 3rd holiday season without him In other words, there was nothing they could do. Every time I see a truck like he drove it brings back my pain. I hope that I can continue to heal for both our sakes. I lost my uncle 11 months ago. This week I saw my daughter for the first time since he passed and now Im a wreck all over again. Trying the best I could to just be. When I left there somethnig came over me and I knew what happened there was WAY bigger than anything I could have imagined. It all came back like it was the first few days after he passed. Memories Of Mom, Mother Death Poem - Family Friend Poems I just feel like she was cheated out of so much by dying young and just six months after my daughter was born. i want them to be living their lives- its how it should be. I am in a grievance class hoping it will help. I lost my wife 14 months ago, we Why Do Health Officials Suggest Getting COVID-19 Booster Shot After 8 I have been dating someone for six months now. I was married for 54 years and the care taker for my Mike. My children and 3 grandchildren miss him terribly and I try not to cry in front of them. People told me after the first year it would get better. Dear Kim; I know exactly how you feel, and what youre going through I lost my husband almost 5 years ago, the anniversary of his passing is coming up next week :,( as time passes by it has not become easier for me, I still have terrible meltdowns, and I too hide my pain from my grown-up children, friends, family and co-workers, I dont want them to worry about me or feel sorry for me. I got on to all three of them cinema text message . Its been a year and 5 months since I lost my husband. Something that helped me was meeting others and making new traditions. The first year was mostly like a in shock, autopilot, anxiety driven adrenaline survival mode. The family member who thinks that 18 months after your husband died you should be dating again? . Ive always been in control of my life & now Im not. I fully intend to carry this out sometime within 18-24 months. He didnt need to say a word his eyes and actions were everything. Result: 660,116 days. She is keeping me going. And now guilt because of some things I am doing. We had such a good relationship as Im sure yours was. He was 45, and had suffered no symptoms until is was far too late. I am a very strong person, but I longed for information and stories from other widows. I lost both my boys 2 years ago mike 38 april 20,2016 and chris 39 september 20, 2016, I cant get over the pain my heart is hurting so much.I just want tobe with them I am having flashbacks like it happened yesterday..shock and reality has set in. All destroyed by diagnosis of lung spread to brain cancer just 2 days before our 2nd daughters wedding. Also. Year 2 started and reality set in and the pain and heartache is unbearable. Linda and Anndont you wish people like ourselves could do things with each other when we are going through a difficult time? I crie often even in my sleep, I dont think it will ever stop been this way for me. I feel life will never be the same at times it feels like Im just lost. He and I have no extended family -so it was just us and our girls. I was able to bury him next to his father. Every journey is unique and we just get through our own way. I wish the pain would subside more on some days than others. But Im thankful I have had someone in my life that has meant so much that Im devasted not to be with him right now. I was unaware that I had been in Survival Mode. Sadly, at my request my Don went down and got the shingle shot and three weeks later his feet were tingling, he was weak and could barely walk. My mom passed away July 2017, 6 months later my boyfriend passed in January 2018. A year had passed. I sat with her for 3 hours, waiting until her last breath, saying goodbye. Whoever said it gets easier with time lied or they didnt havetrue love or their soulmate like I did.. My heart is forever broken. Calculate Duration Between Two Dates - Results - Time and Date Peace and acceptance will come. We were together for 47 years he was my best friend. I feel guilty for not knowing he has passed for 2 days while I was away at college and Id do anything to see him again. Ive come to realize that it never will. We saw his body deteriorate the last 4 months and he held out for as long as he could for us. with friends like that, who needs enemies. I know I will have to carry this pain around until I die too, because it will never ease. Now and then there are good moments that let me see how lucky I was to have him in my life. We are more aware of those around us and of what we no longer have like pouring salt into an open wound. I lost my only child june3rd 2017 she was 22 from heroin I found her I do not want to live she was my only reason for living she was my life. Why? When, I feel as you (and I do feel that way), I think of what my beautiful wife and friend would do or say. I had thirty years of marriage she was everything to me all I had known since eighteen.I had counselling through myself back into work and seemed to be coping acknowledging every milestone with great sadness. I lost mom 14 months ago. I met him when I was just 15 years old so I grew old with him. I now regret it because little did I know he was grieving also, but I never knew because he was being strong for me. I am just into my second year and the intensity of grieving seems to have increased. Always believe she would come back..I dont tell anyone how much I miss her as nobody lisen to me, just say move ondont know what to do and how to live. I lost my only child Rob on Thanksgiving 2016 to a heroin overdose. We fought about it all the time and would say nasty things to each other among the lies etc. I been trying to get my life in order such as trying to find a job. But life sure is hard at times and not having my kids to support me and love me and just be there for me its hard but I am a survivor always have been and I always will be. Right now, choose life - seize your divine moment. i could be just reading a magazine and something pops up she used to like. She lived with me & my husband after my brother passed & I had to watch her suffer & die. Well then so so much has been such a consequence that its like my late husband made use meet. I was ok for awhile but all the sudden its hitting me like a brick wall. The grief is unbearable today as last week, last month, last year. I stay positive for my kids and grandkids. Patience and gentle reflection can help you and your family heal from the pain of losing a pet. I feel for all of you so much. And I think of him everyday . She died of COPD. Then she was born. I went back to work on March 25th not long after his passing because I kinda freaked out when there was no money coming in yet so back to work I went. 14 months ago we were enjoying lunch together at home as we had for years. I remember the 1st year being a blur. I miss you so much babe. I dont know at the moment what the day will provide. I was about fifteen when he went into the service he was three years my elder. i am approaching the second year since my wife died unexpected she went to visit our son and died of a brain aneurysm non his front lawn- Married 36 years- every day is a struggle and as busy as i try to be having two children in their thirties i still feel so lonely when i am alone at bedtime, it is inconceivable that i can be happy again. She passed after 8 months. I was 18 and 18yrs when I meet him he was 21. it never brings back what we had or how do we retrieve. Scars are only ugly to people who cant see. Which is understandable. And the scar tissue is stronger than the original flesh ever was. Glad I happened onto this website where I can share such deep feelings that I used to share with the love of my life. And No, I'll Never 'Get Over' It. Im still trying to get over the shock of the diagnosis let alone his death. you learn to live with it, this is so true. I walk around with a smile and hide my pain from family and coworkers. . Cant find any purpose for my life. I am 76 and my health seems OK but mentally I am a wreck. She was simply the best person I ever knew. It's been 9 months since my sweet Louisa passed away. Hi Holly, Its been five and a half months for me since my husband died. I know she feels depressed. Take each day at a time, pray and thank God for the time he gave you with her. How to Help Someone With Grief After a Sudden Death - The New York Times brain tumor surgery. Ill die with it there. I dont think we were lucky Ever since my love passed away Ive had to deal with a lot of pain. When the ship is first wrecked, youre drowning, with wreckage all around you. We have to carry on, remember them (I still find it difficult to use memories as a crutch, as theyre a reminder that hes not here!) I miss him every second of the day, that will never change. We had no idea our child was depressed or suicidal. He got very angry but we never stopped loving each other . And then I start crying uncontrollably. The short answer is no. He died in my arms. Doesnt judge and helps hold us up. The body is never the same again, but healing does happen. I am 39, I could live a long time yet. It was the hardest Xmas every. I also never realized during the entire course of me caring for her, how fearful I was of getting sick. A Erwin Raphael McManus. I feel very teary of late and missing him so. The 1 year anniversary of his death is in a couple days. My Husband of 53 Years had a stroke in July of 2016. I was thirteen, now I'm fourteen. Do not see life as getting in the way of your love for your husband, Im sure he wouldnt want that either. I dont want to go anywhere but have to. Though I never lied to them about all of this, theyve never seen me down. I pray daily for all who mourn the death of a loved one or pet, O my, thankyou. We had been married for 58 years. Ive never cried so much it was like a present from my husband with them been born on Xmas day and saying bye to them was so so hard. I am just pretending Im ok, so my family does not worry about me, as I know I got to be strong for them. I have many photos of us of times gone by, and it,s good to see him in happier times, but now I long so much to hear his voice, It hurts to want to hear him again. My brain is no longer frantic to fix it, as it was during the entirety of the first year. Whatever the truth of mortality is, I wish someone would have told me in those early months that no one else can know or own your love. I too had the months of legal stuff and find things he used to do and now my responsibility rather hard. I have just been reading through this site and found your response to minelike you..I dont want to socialise..I go to work..come home to the whirlpool of love from my two puppies..you and I are so blessed to have our furriesI know I will never have another soul mate and am so thankful to have been so loved and accepted for who I am ..may our boys rest in peace until we are together again..hope you have settled into your job.work will help keep us both going..hugs..ann. After a few months we started dating- the girls love him- I love him. I lost my husband August 22nd 2018 and I too visit the grave site nearly every day, and pray to God to let me be with my love. We had plans to move to a Sr. I feel so empty and lost without her. Why do people with live child get to talk about them so freely and Im supposed to not talk about my son. Even though some of our stories vary the seem to be the same. Our hope is in Heaven. But lately I find myself overwhelmed with sadness as weeping. It . The waves, as mentioned still come but now we feel the need to hide them which isolates us more. Then, I felt nothing. Every day I beat myself up thinking about what I should have and could have done to help her in her passing. I sat today looking through the plethora of pictures of her and I'm just so happy I had what little time I did with her. I know theres no perfect people in this world and I understand that. From the depths of old internet comments comes another incredible gem of a story. Nothing left for me. I also lost my husband to pulmonary fibrosis although he also developed two tumours on his lung. I was in total shocked! But oh, the silence, the noisy silence.some might think it a relief after the long worry and caring and initially I think there was some small relief, but now I know he has really gone and I cannot escape the tormenting thoughts. I can tell you the only thing that keeps me going day to day is not wanting my children or loved ones left behind to feel how I feel right now. I miss him more now than the first year he was gone. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Cry daily cannot stop crying. Forgetting them or desiring to do so is not an option. visitors from Social Media Sites (referrals) The way she was with our 4 babies 8-20 years old. Im only 2 months in after the loss of my husband. I lost my son 2 years ago at age 24. Im sorry for your loss. To fast forward I have met a wonderful person. I still wake up in the morning thinking it's a nightmare and you're not really gone. Theres a spot right around where my heart is that just aches and aches and aches. Months after COVID-19, many with long-term symptoms wonder if they'll And I took him of life support. The dr gave be sleeping tabs to get my body /mind back i to sleepmode . Bless you, My daughter passed 1 year and a half ago and the pain is worse to me. Its too hard to live without them. Some days, I think Im going to be ok (not the same kind of OK! that maybe I would have been before all this happened, but an ok relative to my new life), and other days Im in a deep, dark, scary place that I dont think I can survive. I also wonder if the fact that I just turned 60 this summer, dont have much other close family, unable to work & my life restricted by disability, pain levels & not driving, are added in to the mix. This can feel like being in a state of shock or confusion surrounding the death of a parent. This is by far the worse loss i have experienced. I too lost my soul mate and love of my life 17 months ago after 24 wonderful years together. I had been married to him since I was 16 years old. You have left me a huge hole that no-one else can fill in my heart.